my love, got me back to the top of the slide

im not going to try to make this sound poetic or good. because i suck.

im pissed.
i dont think i remember being this pissed.

tonight has been such an emotional journey.
i started being pissed.
at my mum.
very very pissed at my mum.
she doesnt see the world how i see it.
and she cant accept.
and she spends.
spends what i cant control.

then i was nervous.
nervous about what was in my suitcase.
nervous to take it to the stove.
then take it into the bathroom and out the window.
im not going to go into that.

then, i was happy.
i was just being me.
hanging with my brother.
telling him stories.
but not THOSE stories.
he doesnt know about THAT, or THAT either.
he still thinks im perfect.
i taught him stuff about being old.
my old.
and how he doesnt actually know alot.
and how he should love that.

then, then i was back to being fucking pissed.
pissed off.
and mark my words, ALOT more pissed than i was the last time.
because im not pissed for me.
im pissed because NO ONE,
NO ONE has the rights to treat other people that way.
I know you're exaggerating.
but i cant run the risk of a single word of it being true.
never ever will i take that risk.
im a risk taker, everyone knows that.
i mean, what i just did.
wow.
i like risk.
but not this.
never this.

ever.