i reach into the drawer and fumble around a little
my hand brushes the cool plastic of its case
i grasp it, pulling it towards me.
its case is hard and black, the shining silver brand imprinted on the front
i slowly open the clasps
one

by

one
and open the box that hasnt been opened in more than a year.

the maroon velvet caresses the silver, every key every bump every hole.
i pick up the three peices and snap them together, the way that is so familiar to me.
i place it to my lips.

B flat.

G sharp.

high D.

after making sure my favourites still work, i turn to the first page of the first book.
the peice that i played for my exams.

i play "amid the new-mown hay" from beginning to end, without faltering, stopping or hitting the wrong note.
this is amazing. i havnt picked this up in more than a year and i havnt lost any talent.

some of the notes i can play i dont know the names of. i have mostly forgotten how to read my music.

but the sound, the notes, the trills, they come from my heart. they come from that place deep within me that knows these rhythms, these patterns, so so well. it has been imprinted to my soul.

just playing like this, it brought me back to the time i had last palyed it. the times there had been no stress or worry, when life was good.

next, "pillow dance"

my gosh, i was even more shocked at this one, the speed at which my tired fingers were moving was amazing.
i had always played this peice too fast. always too fast my teacher had told me one day. always too fast.
but i like it fast. it sounds so... alive



so i just played until all my books had been read and re read, mainly playing from the imprint, but having it there for support.

and i remember why i started it, a whole 6 years ago, when i was 7.

because it makes me happy.