its rather phenonimal that a phantom love can mean so much
and hurt so much when it goes wrong
or dissapears alltogether
when it was only a phantom

when you know you love him, but only once hes stopped loving you back
because when he loved you you werent ready


and the way a couple of words can mean so much ... the "i know what its like.. i really do"

how they can mean SO MUCH

and how the lack of the standard i love you is affecting me

and how the "obligations" are all taht make him act




when the love is so... unrequited (i hate that word, reminds me of goddamned year 7 english)

when love is unrequited..

life gets hellish
trying to just keep your head above the surface long enough to breathe

and so he 'likes' me. my ass. or hes just one of those people that doesnt show it.


but i kinda sorta love him



and its all very phenominal.